Siren song of sanity

I am starting another blog, aided by a few lovely people, about mental illness awareness. 

If you view yourself as a judgmental person, please don't concern yourself with visiting this blog. 

http://sirensongofsanity.blogspot.com/

sonder

sonder

n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.

(I always credit Shari for this one since I totally copied her in middle school)

Something I love

School is finally over.

The hardest semester of my educational career so far

...which is sad because I'm still in the lower level classes of my major.

I'm so exhausted, and I was empty.

But it's time to refuel! 

I LOVED this semester. Even with my 18 credits and lessons and orchestras

 I found time to do what I love.

My tutoring job was so eye-opening, even if it wasn't for very long.

I discovered how quickly I can love strangers,

and how quickly they return that love.

It made me realize that education is really what I want to do. What I need to do.

I loved my students. Or at least the consistent ones that really relied on me.

There was one Mexican woman that I loved to death.

I helped her write her papers a lot since her English was still shaky. 

We had so much fun, and she became a dear friend.

She even bought be a gorgeous necklace and earrings for my birthday.

:')

I was just so inspired by these students. They knew what they needed to do,

but it was difficult for them to get there. I enjoyed the experience of helping these people grasp concepts that their teachers neglected to teach them.

 I loved teaching Rosalba new words every day. 

Like exacerbate, quintessential, hue, wantonly, etc. She loved it. 

My classes were so inspiring, and I was giving so many opportunities

to express myself through writing and reading.

My human rights literature class was the most inspiring to me.

To be honest, I thought it was mainly going to focus on 

Black American history, which would have also been interesting,

but instead it focused on really current issues all over the world,

such as modern western colonialism in Pakistan,

Guantanamo Bay and Immigration,

and LGBT rights via The Laramie Project.

Ugh I love immersing myself into those kinds of reading. 

Well, any kind of reading I guess.

That paired with my upper Anthropology class really yielded some 

good material for my writing. I guess being in education is something I love

because it involves every aspect of learning. 

I  enjoy every subject, which is maybe why I had such a hard time choosing my major.

I just want to do it all, you know?

However, this summer I'm taking a big break from everything.

I need to refuel my emotions and my workload. 

I devoted a lot of my time to other people this semester

and it was really hard to focus on myself.

I did start drawing again.

I'm so jealous of people who say that playing music relaxes and calms them.

If you've ever heard me practice you know that I'm never relaxed when I play.

But I'm not that way with drawing. I love it. I breathe regularly, I feel no pressure.

Everything is shapes and shades, and it flows.

Flows out of me like air that I was meant to exhale. 

My goal is to complete one drawing/painting a week this summer,

but we'll see how that turns out when I get a job.

I can dream though. 

Food for Thought

Don't get me wrong. I love the new uplifting Dove Commercial featuring women's perceptions on their own beauty. It's a fantastic message and definitely a step in the right direction.

However, something felt off about it. I didn't know what it was, but then I saw this article and realized what it was. 

Why Dove's "Real Beauty Sketches" video makes me uncomfortable,

and kind of makes me angry

Within:

"At the end of the experiment, one of the featured participants shares what I find to be the most disturbing quote in the video and what Dove seems to think is the moral of the story as she reflects upon what she's learned, and how problematic it is that she hasn't been acknowledging her physical beauty: "It's troubling," she says as uplifting music swells in the background. "I should be more grateful of my natural beauty. It impacts the choices and the friends we make, the jobs we go out for, the way we treat our children; it impacts everything. It couldn't be more critical to your happiness."

"Did you hear that, ladies? How beautiful you are affects everything--from your personal relationships to your career. It could not be more critical to your happiness!"

It's a little over-the-top on its suggestions, but I took it with a grain of salt. This commercial really affected me too, just like it did many others. I realize that I'm probably overly critical about how I see myself. And I realize that the message is more about how we view ourselves affects everything we do; but what I love this article is it the underlying message right on the head. Beauty is still the ruling factor in how we are treated. I like to think there are more important elements on how we see ourselves. 

Anyway, I think it's worth the read, just as food for thought. We are obviously all more beautiful than we realize, but is that still all that matters?