Something people don't understand is the control aspect of Bipolar. I hate when people say "stop being so negative, why are you so sad? Why can't you get over it? Why are you so angry/moody/etc?" It's not like most circumstances where you can just pick yourself and be happy again. Sometimes you just hurt, and you feel sick. Anger makes me feel nauseous, while happiness makes me feel jittery and out of control. These extremes are debilitating when dealing with people who don't understand the circumstances.
Although being bipolar has many many negative repercussions, there are also some positive qualities. Imagine being able to feel emotions with a greater threshold than anyone else. Yes, this means feeling anger, anxiety, and sadness more, but it also means feeling happier, extremely euphoric, etc. Feeling a wider range of emotions that most people will never get to experience is both thrilling and terrifying. You thrive off of emotions like one thrives off of mana. When you get creative, you really get creative. When you go running, you really go running; it's crazy because your mind and body will shut off until eventually you've completely strained your resources and collapse. Basically you do everything to the extreme. Nothing is mediocre. Oh, and you love more---seriously. You physically feel it. You actually feel your emotions.
Being in relationships is (was) hard. The inexplicable anger and frustration, sudden anxiety and sadness, and then instant euphoria and terrifying libido. All in one day? Every day? You better believe it. It's tiring to constantly feel everything at once; it's like having ten television sets turned in to different channels and trying to focus on only one sound. And I bet it's even more tiring having to deal with a partner who is constantly bouncing between depression and euphoria.
(Luckily I found an amazing guy who helps and understands what's going on with me; he knows my signs and how to keep me from spiraling).
There are some tips for those dealing with this: schedule, schedule, schedule. Form habits and stick with them. I am a routine person, I have my clear schedule and I fit very nicely into it. However, upon being thrown out of that regimen I go into sever anxiety and slowly spiral downward. I liked my schedule: wake up, exercise, eat breakfast, either work or school, practice, eat, relax, sleep. Unfortunately, going through a big life change kind of jumbled up my whole routine. Another tip: run or work out hard. Exercise is the best way to keep your mood stabilized. I'm so busy pushing my body to its full potential that I completely forget to think, and it's a really great feeling when you're so used to being trapped in your own mind.
In short, being moody and having a bad day is not being bipolar. Being scared of yourself is what it means to be manic depressive. It's being so terrified and uncertain about who you are and what you're capable of because of these emotions that are constantly in the way. A lot of relationships are ruined because of this, and it's hard to forgive yourself and feel like you deserve happiness. I guess I can't emphasize enough that it's scary--people don't seem to realize that being afraid of yourself exacerbates the whole emotionally challenged thing. You feel constantly out-of-body, and being brought down to reality is hard.
So...uh...be nice to emotional people. Sometimes they can't control what they're feeling, and I guess like being drunk, they sometimes can't control what is being replicated on the outside.
We all deserve forgiveness and happiness no matter what happens. It's hard to remember that. But hey, we're all on this little journey of inner peace and stuff so we have time to work on it.
I hope this....is informative...or maybe it's just me rambling...
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