Dragons over Princesses

Once again I find myself sitting alone in my room, pondering the mysteries of Pokemon, Municipal Waste, life, and how much candy one can actually consume in a single sitting. I am also delving deep into an inquiry I have been chewing on for quite some time. And that is, well, why can't I be a super classy woman? Even more--why can't I have the desire to be a classy woman? All around me I see girls following the footsteps of idols such as Marilyn Monroe, Kate Middleton, Elizabeth Taylor...and some of those other classy ladies. Dapper young men swoon over the girls with proper manners and manicured nails and gleaming tans. Why can't I want that too? Often I feel like I'm obligated to want to have perfectly coiffed hair and wear sassy pencil skirts with stiletto heels; to wear dark red lipstick and dresses cut in the old style. People push and pull at women in a hard way, creating what I think is a lot of inner turmoil. Women are expected to be beautiful, classy, smart, but also play video games and sports and watch football and make food and pamper. In reality, however, we can really only choose a few of these characteristics. Some girls enjoy the more materialistic, beautiful lifestyle complete with red lipstick and hot rollers, and some girls choose fighting dragons in basements and eating candy.

Why am I not a classy girl? Because I can't love myself that way--I can't masquerade behind something I'm not. I love and admire the beautiful ones--the ones that scream Coco Chanel--but I can never be that. I'm too happy being weird and idolizing the realm of fantasy. I'd rather spend money on replica daggers and painting supplies than on shoes and pearls.

And suddenly I realize how happy I am about that. Right at this moment. I am so proud of girls who can find themselves in role models of elegance and grace, but I no longer look longingly at those who replicate the countenance of a 50's beauty queen barbie doll. I love being a girl who fights dragons and is content with casting spells in MTG, but also enjoys being pretty.

Being weird is a gift. Being beautiful is a gift. Although I will never be a classy, elegant woman, I will always have the gift of knowing who I am and finally being content with that. Never again will I be envious of something I'm not, because I know now I could never be happy that way.

 So lose the lipstick, the stockings, the diamonds, and give me some manga, a pair of running shoes, and a Frostmourne sword.