The actual best chocolate cake ever

I just made the best chocolate cake ever--and you'd be surprised about both what's in it and where I got it from.

The skeleton of this cake actually comes from the back of the unsweetened cocoa container. It's simple. However, my mother, the ingenuitive baker, added shredded zucchini to the recipe and it was delicious. I spent an entire summer one year making and decorating a million cupcakes, so I know my way around the market of taste.

So, here is my favorite favorite chocolate cake recipe. It totally breaks the laws of my healthiness but some days you need to crawl into your bell jar and eat cake.

Best chocolate and zucchini and jam and cream cheese cake

2 cups sugar
3/4 cups hershey's cocoa
1-3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1-1/2 tsp baking powder
1-1/2 tsp baking soda
2 eggs
1/2 cup vegetable oil**
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup milk
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup boiling water
1/2 or 1 cup finely shredded zucchini (more zucchini=more moist)

**Because of the zucchini I reduce the oil to about 1/4 or 1/3 of a cup

Heat oven to 350 f, grease two 9-inch pans. Mix dry ingredients together, and then throw in the rest of the wet stuff, except the boiling water. Finely shred the zucchini and sit in a colander until all of the juices drain out. Once it is completely drained, mix it in and then add the boiling water and stir thoroughly. Pour into round pans and bake for 30 minutes.
After cooling the pans in the fridge (or freezer) for about 20 minutes, spread the top of one cake with your favorite jam (I suggest raspberry or strawberry). This will not only help the cake stick together, but makes it taste UNREAL. After you do this, stack the two cakes (with the one with jam on the bottom obviously). Then freeze until both cakes seem firm.

Frosting:

In reality, I make up my own frosting recipe. I'm a pretty decent frosting connoisseur so I know by taste what is good. So here's an approximation.

1/3 cup melted butter
3/4 cups hershey's cocoa
3+ cups powdered sugar (based upon which consistency you like)
1/3 cup milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
LOTS OF CREAM CHEESE. TO TASTE. AND CONSISTENCY.

Melt butter, stir in cocoa, then alternate adding the sugar and milk. Next add vanilla. Then the cream cheese. Add more cream cheese and powdered sugar until you like the consistency. For this cake, I like the frosting to be firm but still fairly malleable. So...medium?

Apply the frosting to the cold cakes, use a flat utensil to spread on top and sides. The cream cheese will make this frosting the easiest thing to spread ever. Utilize it.
Chill cake in the fridge for about 20 minutes.

CONSUME ALL OF.